Monday, March 9, 2015

What clinic/program are we going to use??

   Well, right now, we are still trying to gather the funds to do this...At the VERY least it will be 5 grand with travel and meds...At the very MOST 14 grand with meds and travel...But variations in these programs are much like the prices...They are VERY different...

The one clinic I initially found when looking for a place in California to do the embryo donation/adoption was California conceptions...At first they sounded great, but after reading, I found out they really are NOT a traditional embryo donation program...

What I mean is, traditionally, (with MOST programs at clinics and agencies) you would have a clinic or a agency that matches you with a family who has embryos that are being stored, that they wish to donate. When you are matched, you then go through the process of signing some legal documents, and then arranging the transfer of embryos. The quantity of embryos depends on the family you are matched with... some only have 2 frosties left, some have 15+ that they may choose to give away to one family or split up into 4's and divide among other families...My biggest issue with this is the cost factor and having to pay for a home study (not with every clinic, as I have just recently learned) and the agency fee's...Because we are not really worried about the looks of the baby etc, (within reason of course) we are not really looking to have a agency "match" us...Also no refund options...So those options became less ideal.....So it was back to California conceptions possibly...

But they are not traditional, like I stated before...Because they use what is called "double donor" embryos (meaning both the egg and sperm were donor, and then paired up to create a embryo), sometimes they even do fresh transfers and not FET's which is obviously not even a real "snowflake"...The ONLY reallllyyy good option with this program is, you get 3 tries (usually transferring 2 at a time) for 12 grand...And they have a 100% money back guarantee program if you do not get a baby...Can't beat that...

BUT, we really like the idea of "adopting" true snowflakes...So we have decided to pursue looking into a clinic in NV who runs a program for less than 5 grand, no home study (not that we have anything to hide, we are doing a home study for fostering, its just a PITA to pay 2 grand , (because the foster home study is not transferable) to have someone make sure your house is not unsafe and you are not a phsyco, and considering I have raised a couple kids myself already, who have become wonderful young people, I don't think it is necessary)...NV is close enough for us to drive to as well saving on travel costs... And, I have read some good reviews about them online in my forum stalking...But nothing in set in stone...I have recently heard of a clinic here near me in southern cali who has a program,  but with limited donors, and its 8 grand for one try...
Like I said, the clinics and prices etc, are so different! (I plan to make a page with clinics and links soon, so be on the lookout if you are searching for info)

As I mentioned above, we are still saving (it may be a while) and so in the mean time, we are trying to privately match ourselves, via the web, on forum, NRFA,  and this blog etc...Praying some how, some way, we get find our precious snowflakes and can bring them home in the next couple years...

Any prayers are greatly appreciated as we walk through this...I have seen and read of many people who have been "matched" only to have something fall through just like traditional adoptions, and with as many losses as we have had,my heart cant take any more "losses" so to speak, so we need this to be a smooth process...At least as smooth as it can go...

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

5 years


Five years ago I bought this outfit... I had hoped four years ago, (and every year after that) to be looking at a baby in that outfit while laying on my bed...But, that didn't happen... Loss after loss after loss...No take home baby... I thought our chances of having the rainbow baby were forever over...

 But now I have hope again...

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

This is our prayer... That the Lord will go before us and make away for us to bring home our snowflakes... From picking the right little ones to making sure they stay safe in my uterus, to a safe delivery...I know I can't make it happen, but HE can!

A little about us...

Hello!
Here is a little bit about "us"...



We live in the southern California mountains....Its amazing here...Not just the weather of southern California, but the small town feel of living in a place that seems almost like leave it to beaver'ish...Just set up about 6500 feet on a mountain edge, wit amazing views, gorgeous hiking trails and rocks to climb...TONS of wildlife! Its just... Awesome...


Here are a few pics (taken from my Iphone) of where we live...





















My husband is a retail manager and I am a stay at home mom (soooooo thankful to be able to do that!!). We have a "blended family" (aka children from previous marriages) with 4 children between us, ages ranging from 13 to 6.Our precious kids- Hayden , Kaitlyn, Lindsay and Isaiah.... They are our everything....We are soooooo incredibly thankful for them. They also would like to add to the family...They pray every night for a little brother or sister (Kaitlyn, age 6, who prays for BOTH- I do too admittedly lol- we would LOVE twins!)

I have had numerous pregnancy losses through the years... One before my first DD, one before me son, and a 19 week loss right before I had my youngest DD...Since 2011, we have been TTC, and in that time have had 4 ectopics, 3 IUP's and several early pregnancy losses where location was unknown, meaning it could have been ectopic... Some of our losses were due to tubal issues, and some were due to a developing antibody issue (diagnosed in 2013 by a reproductive immunologist) I have that causes my body to reject implantation when the baby is created with my husbands genetics Its kind of rare, and very hard to explain, and it is HELL to try and treat medically....The fact I have any living babies at all is a miracle!

Because of the complexities of treating the antibody issue, (been there done that,  it didn' work and the meds gave me bad side effects) we have decided to complete our family using either donor embryos or doing IVF with donor sperm...

It was NOT a decision we came to lightly... It was a year before we finally felt comfortable enough to move forward with the process...Now that we have started that process, we both have so much excitement and peace... it just feels "right"...